


They Were Both Cursed Anyway

by AprilLudgateForQueen



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 11:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11252463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AprilLudgateForQueen/pseuds/AprilLudgateForQueen
Summary: The aftermath of Livvy's death has left everyone in the LA institute broken. Kit helps Ty deal with his pain.





	They Were Both Cursed Anyway

They were all back at the institute, well not all of them he supposed. Livvy of course hadn’t returned. They had stayed in Idris for two weeks. Every member of the family floated around, eating, sleeping, training, without feeling anything or having any real desire to do any of it. Ty was particularly devastated. He hardly left the room he had been assigned in the Lightwood manor. Upon Robert dying Alec had invited them all to stay with them claiming they could support each other and waving away any claims that the Blackthorns were ‘cursed’. Now however they were back at the institute. As soon as they had entered the institute Julian had rushed upstairs to Livvy’s room where he had collapsed in a fit of tears. His siblings had stood in the doorway watching him, no one saying anything, no one moving until he had stood up- his face completely blank and closed Livvy’s door. No one had opened it since and that closed door was like a vacuum sucking any joy or hope out of the once sunny institute. The thing that Kit found the most extraordinary about this whole situation was that none of them ceased to train. Emma ran longer and harder than ever, throwing herself from the top of the training room and rolling without any indication of pain. Julian was throwing knives, sparring with anyone in the room and making pancakes almost everyday. Mark spent a lot of time staring up at the sky, perhaps hoping the hunt would come and save him from his sadness. Tavvy and Dru seemed content to continue training and studying, maybe pretending that Livvy would come waltzing in with her saber strapped to her hip. Dianna had fully dove into teaching Kit about the Shadow world. Quizzing him on runes daily, demanding the uses and names or weapons, Kit was, however, a terrible student. He was so distracted it was a wonder that Diana hadn’t already given up on him. It was clearly her coping mechanism however and Kit wouldn’t take that away from her no matter how futile the attempts were. While Kit was devastated at the loss of his friend most of his concern came from the state that Ty was in. The other boy slept outside of Livvy’s closed door, of course Kit was sure he wasn’t actually sleeping. Dru would insist he came and trained so he would sit in the training room, no headphones, no book staring blankly away. He would then follow everyone to dinner where he wouldn’t even pretend to eat before retiring to the cold floor outside of his sisters room.

It was on one such night where it was particularly cold. Kit was lying in bed, shivering and he couldn’t help but worry about Ty. Ty who was no doubt blanketless and jumperlessly curled outside of his sisters room. Without consciously making the decision Kit swung out of bed pulling his duvet with him as he trekked across the institute to stop outside of Livvy’s door where, lo and behold, Ty was curled, shivering, but very much awake. Silently Kit sat down beside him throwing the duvet over them both as he sat next to his friend.  
“Thank you” Ty finally said. He had stopped shivering and his body was actually letting off a great deal of heat.  
“Anytime” Kit promised. He saw a ghost of a smile run across Ty’s face but it was gone in an instant. Despite everything, the bags under his eyes, the sallowness to his skin, Kit could not deny how beautiful Ty was. Even here in the freezing hallway moonlight dancing off his pale skin he looked like an illusion. Too beautiful to be real, too mesmerising to really be sitting beside him.   
“How is Julian?” Ty suddenly asked. His voice was raspy like he hadn’t spoken in a while and Kit couldn’t help but wonder when the last time he spoke was.   
“Not good” Kit replied honestly. He could have sugar coated for him but he felt he had a right to know that the death of his twin was affecting everyone grievously.   
“I know. He hasn’t been to check on me” Ty told him quietly  
“Did you want him to?” Kit asked confused by the statement  
“No. No one should be worrying about me when Livvy” he stopped there and Kit saw a stream of tears run down his beautiful cheeks out of his luminescent eyes.   
“I’m worried about you” Kit told him flatly. Ty looked up at him then and he looked into his eyes and he smiled.  
“You must miss her” Ty said quickly darting his eyes away and turning back to the plain wall across from him  
“Of course I do, she was my friend. But it is nothing compared to what you and your family is going through” Kit replied firmly  
“You love her though. I read that losing a romantic partner is just as hard as losing a sibling” Ty told him gently  
“Livvy wasn’t my romantic partner” Kit replied watching the other boy carefully.   
“You kissed her. Why would you do that if you didn’t love her?” Ty asked seeming so genuinely confused that Kit almost wanted to laugh if the depths of Ty’s eyes hadn’t been so heartbreaking that Kit actually felt his chest physically constrict.  
“Well she asked me to. She had never been kissed before and she said I was her age, so why not?” Kit explained. “But we had both decided that we were better as friends” he continued for some reason wanting to assure Ty that he wasn’t in love with his dead twin.  
“Oh” was all Ty said in reply. The boys sat there silently for a while listening to the crash of the waves that could be heard everywhere in the institute.  
“You know you can sleep in your own bed” Kit told him quietly  
“So can you” Ty snapped  
“I know, but I needed to make sure you were okay” he replied quietly  
“I’m okay Kit. You can go back to bed” Ty murmured. But as he said it he subconsciously cuddled further into the duvet and Kit knew he couldn’t leave him. “I can’t be in there” Ty finally said  
“Why not?” Kit replied knowing exactly what Ty meant.  
“She is in there. She helped me pick the colour of the walls. I was tossing up between sky blue and indigo blue and she chose the indigo- promising me it wouldn’t be as draining on my eyes. She has sat between my stacks of books, cleaning her saber, brushing her hair. Telling me gossip that she heard around the institute and every time I go in there that is all I can see” Ty gasped out as more tears rushed from his eyes.  
“You could change rooms” Kit offered helplessly not knowing how to help his friend but desperately wanting to.   
“No. I don’t want to forget. Eventually I will be able to walk in there and smile as I remember my sister and until then I will sleep here” Ty said stubbornly  
“Then so will I” Kit replied interlocking his hand with Ty’s as they both leant back against the institute wall. Eventually the pair fell asleep curled together under Kit’s duvet. Kit was woken the next morning by Emma who was sneaking out of Julian's room. Kit and Emma just stared at each other both understanding something in that moment but unwilling to vocalise it.  
“If you want, I’m making waffles” Emma said quietly Kit just nodded so she padded away.   
Kit wanted to think that Ty’s gradual improvement was down to him but he knew it had something to do with Ty’s concern for Julian. He started training again. Spending hours a day trying to teach Kit proper stance for every weapon. He still slept in the hallway between his and his twins room so Kit did as well. He started wearing his headphones again and he could reliably be found reading Sherlock Holmes at dinner and while training but there was still an air of heartbreak over the institute and Julian was only getting worse. Kit wasn’t sure if everyone noticed what the nature of his and Emma’s parabatai bond really consisted of but he was positive that they were anything but platonic. Julian was also getting meaner. While the Blackthorns, Christina and Kit had been staying with the Lightwoods Isabelle had told him the rumour of the Blackthorn curse. It had apparently been a rumour for generations and Isabelle had stories about giant worms eating them, faeries kidnapping them, Warlocks requiring their blood for necromantic purposes, insanity and Kit thought being romantically involved with your parabatai. Kit wasn’t sure that he believed in curses but the Blackthorns were an unlucky bunch whatever the reason. Kit wasn’t sure weather he was imagining things when it came to Julian. He was snapping at mark, had no patience for Tavvy and he didn’t seem to care what was going on with Ty. Until he did.   
“Tiberius. I have had enough of this. Sleep in your own bed. Livvy is gone” he growled one particularly cold day. Ty looked up at him with so much hurt in his silver eyes that Kit wanted to punch the stronger man. “And Kit, stop encouraging this behaviour” he finished turning on his heel and closing the door to his room with a resounding click. Kit was about to start ranting but when he saw the fear in Ty’s eyes he almost cried.  
“Come on, we can sleep in my room” Kit promised the other boy pulling up the duvet that had been living in Ty’s room. Nodding wordlessly Ty followed his friend through the institute till they reached Kit’s room.   
“It doesn’t really feel like you in here” Ty told Kit very matter of factly.  
“Yeah well, I don’t have any stuff” he confessed throwing the duvet over the neglected bed and climbing in.   
“We can go and get you some if you want” Ty offered as he nervously walked around to the other side and climbed in.   
“Maybe” Kit replied evasively. He didn’t want to admit that if he put stuff in his room then it was his room and he was a Shadowhunter.   
“I’ve never slept in bed with someone who wasn’t Jules or Livvy” Ty told him quietly. His words filling the silent room.   
“I can sleep on the floor if you want” Kit said quickly  
“No. stay” Ty murmured  
“What about your Dad or Mum?” Kit asked suddenly feeling inexplicably sad for the other boy.   
“No. My dad, he didn’t like me” Ty said so matter of factly that Kit felt that now familiar pain in his chest.   
“That’s” Kit began to lodge a disagreement before Ty was cutting him off;  
“It’s okay, i’ve long come to terms with it. Shadowhunters don’t like anyone or anything different. I am very different and Dad couldn’t handle that, Uncle Arthur couldn’t handle that and I suppose Julian has now realised how strange I am.” Ty told Kit flatly. They were lying side by side in Kit’s double bed. Ty’s fingers were tangled with Kit’s almost instinctively and Kit was soaking up the heat and pleasure that such a simple gesture from the other boy caused him.  
“Ty. Please look at me” Kit murmured rolling onto his side and looking at the dark haired boy. Silently Ty shifted onto his side taking his hand with him as he looked at Kit. his beautiful grey eyes dancing over him.   
“There is nothing wrong with you! Anyone who thinks there is is wrong. It is that simple” Kit told him emphatically as he finished Ty’s eyes flicked up and met his dark blue ones. It was as if he had no control but Kit was reaching for Ty. One of his hands was tangling in his dark curls the other was grasping at his hip drawing him closer. It wasn’t as though Kit had never thought about this. He had wanted to kiss Ty since the first time he saw him and that desire had grown in aggression as their friendship had grown. Now lying so close to Ty that he could feel the other boys chest pressing against him he wondered if kissing was something Ty wanted, if it were something he could ever want.  
“What are you doing?” Ty asked. His voice was breathy and was shaking with what Kit assumed were nerves.  
“I want to show you how perfect you are” he murmured and then slowly so Ty had a chance to pull away he leaned in closely tangling his hand more into Ty’s wonderfully soft curls and then, like it was the only thing that he had ever wanted he was kissing Ty. He had half expected to Ty to pull straight away and stare at him with unhidden confusion on his perfectly sculpted face but he didn’t. He moved closer to Kit hooking his leg over his and running the hand that wasn’t holding himself up around Kit’s waist to draw his body closer. The last person Kit had kissed had been Livvy and it had been nice but being here held by Tiberius Blackthorn tongues dancing along each other and hands exploring he had never felt more content or more at home. 

Kit woke up the next morning to the sun pouring into his still barren room. He was completely tangled in Ty. He had known that he was attracted to men from quite a young age but he had never actually acted on that desire until last night and he was glad that it had been Ty. Tiberius Blackthorn was unlike anyone else he knew and he knew that if Ty was no longer in his life he would never meet anyone like him again. From the position of the sun he would assume it wasn’t quite noon but he was just so happy that he couldn’t even care that they were missing lessons. Ty began to stir and as he woke up he smiled. Kit had been waking up beside him every morning and had seen maybe three smiles that whole time. But now he was here watching as Ty grinned so sincerely that his whole face lit up. Unable to stop himself Kit reached out for his lover who promptly opened his eyes and all but fell out of the bed in an attempt to get away from him.   
“What’s wrong?” Kit asked desperately sitting up more to give Ty more space.   
“We shouldn’t have done that” Ty said flatly  
“Why not?” Kit asked. Ty stood up then pulling his clothes back on quickly. Ty followed his lead feeling all the happiness he had felt upon waking up with Ty drain out of him.  
“I can’t be gay” Ty finally said as he laced his sneakers and then stood up to look at his lover.  
“What? I don’t think your family will care. Mark had a boyfriend” Kit said confusedly  
“Yeah, while he was in faerie. Since he returned and became a shadowhunter again he has started dating Christina. A women” he reasoned  
“Helen is married to a woman” Kit offered feeling desperate to have Ty close again  
“Yeah. The inquisitor's daughter and they live in exile. I am already wrong. I am barely a shadowhunter. I was going to be Livvy’s parabatai but now she’s gone. Because I asked Annabell to come. Because we took Annabell to the clave meeting and because we wanted our sister back. So now I have to be a part of this family. Get the Blackthorn name back into the good grace of the clave otherwise they are going to split us up. You’re a herondale. If I fail you will go to the academy and be celebrated. You can date a different boy if that’s what you want but not me. I will be shunned, sent somewhere ridiculous and never talked about. Our family needs to do good things and not step on any toes which means I have to be normal. My personality has already put me at a disadvantage I don’t need my sexuality to do the same” Ty ranted. Kit stared at him. Even when he was breaking his heart he still loved the sound of his voice and he couldn’t help but find everything he did delightful. Before Kit could formulate a response Ty had turned and rushed out of the room. Kit didn’t make it down to class until after lunch. He knew that his face was blotchy and bloodshot but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to be a Shadowhunter anymore. He didn’t want to see the boy he loved pretending to be something he’s not to keep what's left of his family together. When Kit walked into the kitchen Ty wasn’t there. He came in not four minutes later and Kit felt his eyes drawn to him despite wanting to pretend he was ok Kit could feel his heart in his eyes. Ty was however not looking at him he was being hugged, intensely, by Julian.  
“I am so sorry Ty. I don’t know why I said that you are who you are and I love you for it. Please don’t feel like you can’t be that person”. Julian begged. Ty just nodded and sat down but Kit could see that Julian’s apology hadn’t made him forget the cruel things he had said to him twelve hours ago. 

Days. Kit didn’t talk to Ty for days. He could see him trying to be normal. He wasn’t wearing headphones again and he was training almost as much as Emma but there was no happiness in him and everyone could see it. He was sleeping in his own room again but once again Kit was sure he wasn’t sleeping, the bags had worsened and he was barely present in a room.  
“What is going on with Ty?” Dianna demanded one day after class when everyone but Kit had cleared out of the room.  
“I don’t know, he’s not talking to me” Kit murmured  
“Yes. I noticed but you watch him all day. Tell me what happened” she demanded  
“Well Julian screamed at him to stop being weird” Kit exploded wanting to get what happened off his chest  
“I heard” she replied calmly  
“So we slept in my room because he wasn’t ready to be in his own room” Kit explained “and we kissed then he told me that he doesn’t want to be who he is anymore because his family needs him to be normal and he hasn’t spoken to me since” he finished feeling his sad frustrated tears pricking at his eyes again.   
“You’re in love with him” Diana said quietly  
“I don’t see how that matters. I’m not upset because he broke my heart. I’m upset because he thinks he can’t be himself. That the Shadowhunters won’t accept him as himself. But he is perfect! Sweet and gentle and loving and I don’t want to be a shadowhunter if they think someone as wonderful as Ty is wrong” he finished breathing heavily  
“I understand. You might not think i do but believe me I really understand. It is wonderful to be a Shadowhunter when you’re Jace Herondale or Isabelle Lightwood- beautiful and deadly. But when you are different and you feel things that the clave won’t acknowledge then you are shunned, treated badly. Julian has spent the last five years trying to shield Ty from that” Diana said sadly.  
“He’s always known I think just without Livvy everything’s come into such clear focus” Kit confessed sitting back down and letting his head bang onto the desk in front of him.   
“Don’t give up on him Kit. He needs you and if you were to leave what would he have left?” Diana asked quietly before she swept from the room. Elegant and lethal as always. Kit sat for an hour turning everything over in his head. His feelings for Ty, his feelings towards the shadowhunters. His options if he were to leave. But there was really only one certainty in his mind and that was that he wanted to be wherever Ty was. With a new found determination he followed the now well known path to the training room were the Blackthorns and Christina were. His eyes danced across everyone in the room. Emma and Christina sparring. Tavvy watching happily. Dru was kicking and punching, somewhat absently, at the dummy in the centre of the room and Julian was in the corner talking to Tessa and Jem, the people who had rescued him. Finally his eyes landed on Ty. He was in the corner throwing knives at the target. Quietly Kit made his way over to him;  
“Were you going to teach me how to throw then?” he asked. Ty turned on him then. His head cocked slightly to the side his dark curls falling into his beautiful eyes as his perfect lips twitched into a smile before he handed Kit the knife. 

It was after dinner that Tessa caught Kit alone. He knew that she would want to. She had kind eyes which meant that she had probably been worrying about him since she saved him.   
“How are you getting on here Kit” she asked gently. He had come into the kitchen to steal some cookies. He still liked to eat them when there weren’t any Shadowhunters around,  
“Fine I suppose” he replied  
“Are you planning to stay?” she asked curiously.   
“That really depends” he muttered  
“On?” she asked her curiosity clearly piqued. He should have just said yes. But there was something about her trusting face that made him loathe to lie to her and so he found himself kind of telling her the truth.  
“I just I don’t know that I can get on board with the Shadowhunters beliefs” he said quietly sitting down at the bench and looking at her. She sat down across from him smiling softly. She was beautiful although Kit couldn’t help but think that her hair was too light and that her grey eyes weren’t a true grey.   
“I was married to a Shadowhunter. He died about eighty years ago and I completely cut ties with them all. I had been living as a Warlock until Jem was revived and we got married. I know exactly what you mean. When I first came into this world the Shadowhunters were so far ahead of the times. Women and men were equal, they treated their servants with a respect unparallelled amongst mundanes but since then they haven’t evolved. Mundane medicine has vastly beaten the simple iratze. Mental health is entirely ignored by the clave while Mundanes accept and celebrate it. It is hard to watch people we love be shunned because of their differences. Watching Magnus fight to be with Alec was hard for me. They love each other so much and were none the less told they were wrong but they are growing, albeit slowly and maybe having people like you and Clary in their world will help to speed the process along” Tessa told him calmly.   
“It’s just that Ty is wonderful. He doesn’t deserve this” he snapped apparently unable to keep his feelings about Ty to himself. Tessa smiled, well she tried not to but she did.  
“Oh, little Herondale” she said laughing lightly  
“What?” Kit demanded grumpily  
“It is the Herondale curse” she said with another laugh  
“What curse? Is every family cursed? I don’t believe in the Blackthorn curse anyway” he grumbled clearly irritated by her laughter.  
“Herondales love too passionately. If a Herondale falls in love that is it” she told him with a smile “and no not every family is cursed” she promised still smiling.  
“You mean to tell me that if Ty never returns my feelings I might be alone for the rest of my life?” he asked genuine fear lighting his eyes.  
“Don’t worry Kit, Herondale’s are also very easy to love” she promised him. Before he could ask her any other questions Jem came in.  
“You ready to go?” he asked kissing her on the head gently as he stopped by the pair  
“Yeah, I was just telling Kit about the Herondale curse” she revealed grinning to herself. Jem just laughed offering Tessa his hand as he helped her up.  
“Have you already fallen in love little Herondale?” he asked still laughing “I wish the pair of you good luck” he said still smiling as he and Tessa made their way out of the kitchen and on to home.

The next time he saw Ty was later that night. Tavvy had requested a movie night and still feeling bad about Ty Julian had agreed. Kit wasn’t going to go to it but Ty came wandering into the kitchen and found him there.  
“Are you coming?” he asked his headphones were still missing from his neck and Kit couldn’t help but think he looked wrong.   
“No, I am not a Blackthorn” he muttered  
“You’re as much a Blackthorn as Emma is” Ty promised sitting across from him his hands fluttering with nothing to fiddle with.   
“Did you know the Herondales had a curse?” Kit asked not knowing how to reply to that comment.  
“What is it?” Ty asked his eyes lighting with the curiosity Kit was so familiar with. Kit hesitated, if he told him what Tessa had told him it might come across as pressure and the last thing Kit wanted was to pressure Ty into anything. However Ty might not even take the statement the way it would sound to someone else, he had never told Ty that he loved him and he looked so excited to hear about a curse that Kit had to tell him.  
“Apparently Herondale’s only fall in love once and when they do it is all consuming” Kit told him honestly. Ty cocked his head at that like he was considering Kit’s words.  
“That’s not a bad curse” he finally said   
“It is if the person you love doesn’t love you back” Kit muttered. He wasn’t sure why he said that. Ty looked shocked, his skin had drained of what little colour it had. Before either of them could say anything else Christina came in and ushered the pair into the lounge to watch a movie on the institute computer. Ty ended up next to Kit on the chair. It was a chair big enough for two thin people but right now it felt far too small. Kit could feel Ty pressed against him, could feel his cool skin, could feel his hands shaking with nerves. Absently he grabbed one rubbing it the way he had seen Livvy do and he did calm down.   
“Does the person you love not love you back because she’s dead or because you had to leave her when you came here?” Ty whispered when they were about halfway through ‘the fast and the furious’.   
“Neither. He doesn’t love me back because he wants to be a normal shadowhunter” Kit replied. Ty instantly stilled against him and didn’t say another word. As soon as the movie was over he was gone leaving Kit feeling, if possible, more hollow than he had the last time Ty ran from him. He made his way back to his room slowly feeling as haunted in there as Ty did in his room. As soon as he opened the door he wished he had rushed back. Ty was sitting on Kit’s bed. Headphones in and Sherlock Holmes book on his lap. He didn’t say anything as he stared at the dark haired boy who was sitting on his bed like he belonged there and in Kit’s opinion he did.   
“You love me” Ty said quietly pulling the headphones out of his ears and laying them around his neck. It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t stupid he knew what Kit had been implying but needed verification.   
“Of course I do. Why else would I have kissed you” he mumbled blushing slightly.  
“Well you said that you kissed Livvy cause ‘why not’ not because you loved her. What’s the difference when you kissed me?” Ty demanded eyes flashing slightly  
“Because you’re different” Kit tried  
“I know that” Ty murmured he looked heartbroken as he acknowledged it  
“In a good way. Livvy was wonderful. But she wasn’t the one for me. The first time I saw you I thought about how beautiful you were. You were holding a knife to my throat but all i could think was that you were perfect. Everytime you smile my heart constricts. Every time you laugh I want to make a deal with god so that you never stop” Kit exploded wanting desperately to paint a picture so Ty could feel how wanted he was.  
“You know if your heart is actually constricting you might want to see the silent brothers and I hear god is tricky to get in contact with- it’s easier to make deals with demons although please leave me out of any” Ty said thoughtfully as he mulled over Kit’s words  
“What I am trying to say Tiberius Blackthorn is that I love you. I know that it won’t be easy. The clave won’t approve and Julian might be mad but it will be worth it because I would get to be with you for the rest of my life” Kit said quietly sitting down on the bed across from Ty. Ty was nodding slowly  
“I don’t want to make my family's lives any harder” Ty said. Kit felt his heart sink slightly “but we’re already cursed so I might as well be as happy as I can, right?” he finished looking at Kit trustingly  
“Yeah. You deserve to be happy. However you can achieve that” Kit promised  
“Okay then” Ty said thoughtfully leaning forward until he and Kit were a centimeter apart “I love you too, Kit Rook” he murmured before he kissed the other boy. Kit felt his heart explode as he drew Ty even closer to him. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that Ty’s family would be overprotective, there was still a lot of danger out there, Ty was still broken over Livvy but together they could brave any of that stuff because Kit was a Herondale and Ty was a Blackthorn and they were both cursed anyway.


End file.
